The Search for Elvis' Dog

The day started on an awkward footing with Frank’s lost passport. Frank could see that the guys were prepared to leave without him but fortunately it didn’t come to that. Here’s that view from Tarapoint B&B way above the Mississippi. Then a quick coffee at Alton and some funky art at the German Brew House with Frank ripping off more art. Over to the impressive Cahokia city for a look see and mound walking trip. Largest native ancient City in North America “the Mississippians” before the whites moved in and did a number on them. Nice lunch  in St. Genevieve followed by a trip to the golf grail at Chester and everyone's hero, Popeye, and then to Metropolis, Superman's current hangout. He is currently in a dispute with Marvel over image rights so he was in a bit of a sulk, truth be told. Finished up in a tremendous motel in Dyersburg where Vic, Eoin and Frank played Singo which is a type of musical bingo (Hip Hop) with Lea, the local waitress, assisting. Vic maintained that ...

Frank ran across one of the bridges between the Quad Cities early in the morning just to annoy the lads whilst Mike explored the city. Meanwhile Vic and Eoin formulated cunning plans regarding where to stay that night while pretending it was all Mike’s idea.  Another calm and assured driving performance from Frank that only resulted in two near death experiences and a 7 car pile up. Stopped at Burlington at really nice coffee shop,  dodged a two mile train, lunched at Quincy on the water where Frank started on his 'best Reuben sandwich' quest and then went through Warsaw which is totally run down and properties go for $800. We stopped for a quick coffee in Hannibal, birthplace of Samuel L. Clemens (aka Mark Twain). He was right to get out of there as quickly as possible we all agreed. After heading for the ferry we discover on arrival at swamp town that it had stopped running years ago! All eyes turned towards Vic but he pretended not to notice. That was a bit of a sho...

With Mike at the wheel a sense of dark forebearance came over the group. We all settled our affairs in advance, said goodbye to the very nice breakfast lady at the Inn and made our peace with the late JC. First stop was an old german town of Guttenberg and a Memorial Day parade and photo of some veterans. The all you can eat chicken wings place was closed so we settle for a corner cafe where all the locals were drinking beer and ordering burgers, all before 11am. Very impressive. Followed by a nice car drive through rolling hills and a sandwich at Galana where Ulysses Grant was born.  We also stopped at Dubeque for their parade with Mike feeling up a teddy and Frank thanking the vets for their service. Eoin and Vic opted out of the parade and went up the funicular instead. After lunch we visited the grottos of Dickeyville which was a bit weird. We later explored the cultural highlights of each of the Quad Cities - there wasn't any- the best experience being with Tammy the...

We headed out to pay homage to Prince at Paisley Park which was great, purple everywhere and a tour guide named Marshall who was so clearly so in love with Prince it was quite moving. With Eoin driving everyone was a little on edge but it all worked out ok despite Mike being the navigator. While Minnesota with all its lakes (over 10,000 they say) was very nice the towns were all boring. Grand Rapids (voted 47th best small town in USA- who votes on this stuff) was very disappointing although Judith in the coffee shop was a star and told us to give the Judy Garland house thing a skip. We were happy to hit the Wisconsin state line and everything was better there. We were on the Mississippi, the towns had saloons and pie was everywhere, Vic was in heaven. After Eoin forgot to take a picture of the machine gun for sale in  the small town of Savannah all was not lost when we found a rock band in the biker bar next door. The lead singer was all action and energy and someone bought t...

After bad airport traveling experiences we were all looking forward to a nice easy start to the road trip, a few hundred miles and perhaps a beer or two catching up on family and loved ones. Vic however had other ideas...... We left at o eight hundred from Winnipeg and eventually arrived at our hotel in Minneapolis at o twenty two hundred, 14 hours and 550 miles later. Vic had us all in military talk and when someone meekly asked could we stop for an ice cream he barked at them ‘give me 50’ and the poor unfortunate had to do 50 press ups. After that we all knew the score. In fairness, the day was complicated by having to return a hire car but still, he was killing us all the same. The food at the Irish bar next to the hotel didn’t improve matters much either. Still, it was great to see the lads again. The sac on Vic in fairness.

We later found out that Machine Guns were allowed, very comforting. 

Never mind Ol’ Miss, what about our Eoin? 

At Bemidji (translated originally as ‘where the river meets the Lake’ ) we took the compulsory Paul Bunyan photo together with his trusty Ox, Bluey. Paul was a fictional marketing character as it happens but never let the facts get in the way of a good story accompanied by a 30 foot effigy seems to be the motto around these parts.  And then, on the other side of the road, we saw d’Injun. Hidden behind a tree, nazi saluting and after wetting himself and everything. One final insult to the Oijimbwi tribe. Eoin was so angry he beat Mike to a pulp using a pet chipmunk cuddly toy he had taken from a young child 30 minutes ago.  “What did these people ever do to us white folk” he sobbed before finishing Mike off by stuffing an Eggplant....you know the rest.....Do you see the Chief? 

Never mind Big Miss, what about our Eoin? 

We started at 8.10, and after dropping one car back to airport at Minneapolis Airport we picked up another car- more like a bus really- and got to the hotel at 10pmish, Vic having driven all day under a cloud of tension. We had stopped in Bemeji to have a look at that big statue and after three Beaver beers in some local hostelry people spoke their mind and that didn't go down well with the trip organizers. perhaps the problem was that no one other than Vic had any idea of where we were going or what we were doing. What happened was that he wanted me to have a preamble to the blog, introducing the lads and talking about their idiosyncrasies and how great they were etc etc.. Screw that I said, it’s bad enough having to spend two weeks with them never mind making stuff up.  The photo below will have to do, taken from the source of the Mississippi. Just to note that the Forks complex in Winnipeg was tremendous, but it was shame that we missed the Human Rights museum there, altho...

Songs from a Big Chair Everyone wants to rule the World, especially Mike! 

Route 61 Map

As we take off on our second American roadtrip (From Winnapeg to New Orleans) I decided that it would be best for everyone if we had a purpose. As opposed to just driving from town to town and throwing shapes at the locals and sniping at each other about Mike’s driving. The obvious thing was to search for Elvis. But Elvis is dead I hear you say. What's the point? And what's all this about his dog?   But is Elvis really dead?  And speaking of mysteries did you know that Elvis had  a Basset Hound called Sherlock.  Let's back up a little bit. Many people don't know that Elvis was extremely devoted to his trusty mastiff, Boner, and never went anywhere without him. Priscilla went so far as to say that there were three of them in the marriage and was deeply jealous of Boner. "Boner was hard to warm to" she'd say," and he never liked me".  Anyway, before Elvis keeled over in his vomit-tainted toilet he had made secret provision for Boner’s seed to ...